Feeling old @ 35

Sitting here at lunch, I realize how old I'm actually getting. I'm sitting outside at Thai Sticks - it's 97 degrees, a rather cold front for Houston - listening to 3 kids who recently graduated from college a few years ago talking about what certifications they need to become lead teachers.

Now that's not what makes me feel old, their conversation about their love lives make me feel old. Out of college but still in a high school state of mind when it comes to love. One of the teachers is a smokehouse, as she takes one cigarette right after another, one is a balding gay man, which might I ad he's married (to a woman) and obviously hasn't figured out that he's gay and the 3rd is a girl who's actually the normal one of the bunch. She hasn't quite gotten all of her certifications yet, but knows where she's going. She has a plan.

Smokehouse (as I'll refer to her from now on) is in a new relationship and already talking about marriage. She's all of 25, has a 2 year old, in a new relationship (I think I heard her say 3 weeks) and she's already talking about marriage. A conversation like this makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs to SLOW DOWN!!!!! Enjoy your 20's, why are you rushing things? You change so much in your 20's, I can't stress enough... you change SO MUCH in your 20's! It's scary to think you're talking about a life changing event after only knowing someone for 3 weeks. I think I'm having a harder time knowing there is a child involved.

Married gay man needs to slow down too. He needs to figure out who he is. He's already gotten married and will probably end up breaking his wife's heart, but I want to scream out to him to "figure it out and stop the charade". Embrace who you are. I think like that, but then when I put myself in his shoes, I'm sure that's easier said than done. I'm quite sure it's really hard to come to grips with that, even though we're in 2009, things are still very hard for the gay and lesbian community.

I was so blessed to have gotten married at 27 and had my daughter at 30. Some may say I was old, I say aged. Just like a fine glass of wine, with age your thoughts and decisions become smoother, they catch you in the back of your throat. Decisions you make in your 30's are so much more meaningful. They take on a different view than that of your 20's. At 20, it's like you're looking at the view from the front porch as the cars pass by at 30 mph. All you see are the cars rushing by. You feel like you need to make decisions right then or time will pass you by. However, at 30, you're looking at the view from the back porch watching life in slow motion. The kids, the husband grilling, the dogs, the grandparents trying to keep up with the 5 year old.....

And then you realize it's time to SLOW DOWN, make decisions based on those you love most in the world - YOUR FAMILY!