The day we lost Lori...

Today marks the 18th anniversary of the day I lost one of my closest friends, Lori Michelle Martin. It's so hard to believe that 18 years have already passed. I remember the day just like it was yesterday.

Labor Day weekend, 1992 I was heading back home that Monday from a trip to the beach with another friend of mine. All day I tried reaching my parents on the phone, but had no luck. I even tried calling my line but got no answer and my answering machine didn't pick up either... strange. I tried and tried but no one was answering their phone. I tried my grandparents phone, no answer. This now got me a little worried that something had happened to a family member because they always answered the phone and it seemed as if they never went anywhere. The closer I got to the house, the more I tried calling every number I could think of to get someone on the phone who knew what was happening with my family. About 15 minutes from the house, I decided to call Lori's house to see if maybe my parents were with her Mom and maybe the "beach" crowd had gotten together for a Labor Day Cookout. So, I'm calling Lori's house and my Mom answers the phone, strange. She sounded fine, but very limited in what she had to say to me. In fact, all I really remember her saying was can you please come by Lori's house before heading home. I was so relieved to hear my Mom's voice, but also agitated at the time I had spent trying to get in touch with her. I told her I was tired and needed to get laundry done so I would just meet them at the house. My Mom insisted that I come by Lori's house and then I knew something wasn't quite right. I asked my Mom what was going on and why she couldn't just tell me what she needed to over the phone. I was tired and cranky and just wanted some answers but my Mom was also loosing her patience with me, so I dropped it and just decided to swing by Lori's.

I got off on the exit and I clearly remember the song playing as I pulled up in Lori's gravel driveway. It was the song Please Don't Go by KWS. To this day, I can't stand that song. It takes me back to what seemed like the longest driveway in history where I saw lots of friends, and family and cars everywhere. I still don't think it registered that something was wrong. In fact, I just figured, it's labor day so everyone is here for a cookout. There were friends there that I had not seen since high school, so why I thought everything was copacetic was beyond me. My Dad met me in the driveway before I even had a chance to park the car and I could tell by his face that something was very wrong. It was the first time in my life that I had ever seen my Dad get teary eyed. He asked me to get out of the car and as he grabbed me tightly he said, "I can't believe I have to tell you this, but Lori is dead". I literally fell to the ground, screaming, crying, hitting my Dad in the chest as my Mom began to walk out of the house to help. I was uncontrollably screaming "WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED". At this point, I just figured it was an automobile accident, even though now I remember seeing her car sitting in the driveway, so that just couldn't be the case. I never in a million years thought I would hear what would come out of my Dad's mouth next... "Shelley, Lori was shot this afternoon. It was an accident, "K" was cleaning his gun when it accidentally went off". I didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now, nor do I ever think I will ever believe it was an accident. I don't know that it was intended to happen that day, but I do believe it also wasn't an accident either.

A few weeks before the gun went off on this dreadful Labor Day, "K" had "accidentally" shot himself in the same house with another gun. The bullet pierced through his hand and luckily no one in the house was hurt. Maybe I've been watching too much TV, but I believe this was all part of his plan. If he could show that one gun went off accidentally, then why couldn't another one do the same a few weeks later. There were also things that didn't jive with me in regards to the way "K" described to me what happened. Lori was sitting across the room from "K" at an angle that doesn't make sense how she could then be shot underneath her arm. If the bullet had hit the other side of her body, I might have bought it, but in my opinion, in order for her to have been shot from where she would have been sitting, "K" would have had to have been right by her side. "K" knew about guns, he knew the safety of guns and he knew not to clean his gun with a bullet in the chamber. In my opinion, Lori was really ending things with him that day, one thing lead to another, their argument got out of control and he shot her.

My Mom would later tell me that Lori had called me the morning of her death. Was she calling because she was in trouble, or was it just a call to say hello? I'll never know! I think back to the last time I saw Lori, in that same driveway where I got the awful news of her death. She yelled to me as I was walking to my car "I'll talk to you later this week". I remember the feeling I had as I turned to tell her to "Take Care", it was like that would be the last of our goodbyes. I think we all have those premonitions, but sometimes don't know exactly how to bring them to light or question why they occur in the first place. Could things have been different if I had been home that day and gotten her call? Would the circumstances have been the same or would she still be here today? Again, I'll never know.

RIP my friend. I think of you often and think of those you left behind. I know I speak for us all when I say, we miss you!

New Orleans Vacation

A Good, True Friend???

I've never had one!

As a child I thought I had 3 Best Friends but looking back, they were not what I'd call true friends after all.

One friend was only there when it was convenient for her and even then our conversations were focused around her and what was going on in her life. When she lost weight and found a boyfriend, that's when I really lost what I thought was my friend. There was no more time for the other 3 amigos, it was all about her new love.

The 2nd friend was one that I spent a lot of time with. We went through many happy and sad times together and I was there through them all. I even stuck around after I found out that she really liked the same guy I did. In my opinion, as a teenager, friends were more important to me than what boy I had a crush on at the time. That all changed when I called her a BITCH the 2nd time it happened, only this time it was my steady boyfriend that she chose to see for months behind my back. I ended up apologizing to HER and broke it off with my boyfriend trying to mend the broken fence. But... because I called her a bitch for dating MY boyfriend behind MY back, SHE stopped talking to ME... not just for a few weeks, for years.! It wasn't until our other friend passed away that we even reconciled, if you can even call it that. Our friendship now is that of yearly calls and Christmas Cards.

The 3rd friend in the group, was really more of an acquaintance now that I look at. We hung out because our families knew each other, nothing more nothing less.

Now I'm an adult and it's sad for me to say that I've never had a best friend. I think I gave up on that idea long ago, very long ago. When the 3 people you think are your best friends as a child don't listen to your thoughts and your ideas, cheat with your boyfriend and then turn around and walk away from the friendship, and when the 3rd friend you finally realize played no important roll in your life... it's pretty easy to figure out why you don't form close relationships with people as an adult. I don't trust many people in my life, in fact very few.

I've tried to form relationships as an adult, but I always find the same 3 I had as a child. I either find one that is so self absorbed that I can't stand to be around them for any length of time, I find one that could care less what I have to say (looking through me as I speak, not at me), or I find the occasional acquaintance. They don't care about me and then I end up caring even less about them!

Maybe one day I'll find that friend, but for now I'm OK with just me.

Busy, Busy, Busy... Now Relax.... AHHHH

The last few weeks have been so busy and I've not had a chance to blog. Oh, how I've missed it!

Let's start with 4 weeks ago... we started the Saturday (10/17) out at a fall festival with Lisa and Wyatt. Wyatt and Laura had a great time playing in the pumpkin patch and picking out their pumpkins. Laura and I had to leave a little early this year so that she could go to her friend, Crystal's Birthday Party. The party started at 4:00, but lasted into the night. They all had such a good time together and had a hard time when it was time for the parents to disburse.

That next week Laura and I stayed pretty busy preparing for her Birthday Party, which was 10/24. Her theme this year was Hello Kitty, so we had to get all of the supplies; cake, balloons, napkins, plates, goodie bags, etc. ready for Saturday. She wasn't too thrilled with the planning part of it, all she wanted was the actual party itself. I was very surprised at the kind of party Laura asked for this year. Tim and I take her to this place near our house and it has bowling, laser tag and gaming machines. Well, that's what she wanted to do this year. As girly as she is, I was surprised she wanted to have it there. But, I have to say all the kids seemed to enjoy it. Because Laura's Birthday was actually during the week, we decided to go ahead and give her the big gift before the big day.Now Tim and I both thought we would get a much bigger reaction than we did. Tim showed up with Laura's new puppy, Lilly, that she had been asking for all year and her response to Lilly was just "Hello". Are you kidding me? We thought there would be jumping and screaming and all we got was "hello"? Oh well, I guess you never can tell how they're going to react, can you? Laura and Lilly were able to spend a little bit of time together and then it was off to her party.They all seemed to have a really good time, and the boys really enjoyed the laser tag . I think that was the highlight for all of them.

My Parents always come in for Laura's Birthday, so the week they are here I try and find fun things for them to do. One of the Keener traditions is going to Dewberry Farms so Laura can pick out another pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. So, we headed there for our Sunday afternoon. This year, now that Tim's Dad and Stepmother live in Katy, we ended up having a larger crowd - me, Tim, Laura, Grame, Pops, MawMaw and PawPaw. Now that Laura is older we decided to do the Corn Maze this year. That was a lot of fun and will be a new tradition at Dewberry from now own!

The next week seemed to be a little hectic. Laura's dance instructor gave them all permission to wear their costumes to the Tuesday class but before Laura could wear hers, Grame had to do some alterations. Luckily Grame came through and had her outfit all ready for her when we got there Tuesday afternoon. The rest of the week we were all getting ready for Halloween and Tim and I actually got a few date nights in. What fun! It's nice to be able to get out and have adult nights from time to time. One of our date nights was a movie night. We saw the Michael Jackson movie, "This Is It". It was really good!! We both enjoyed it. The movie seemed to be a little long, but all in all it was nicely done. It's hard to imagine putting together a movie about MJ's final dance/dress rehearsal, but they did and did it well!

Saturday rolled around, which happened to be Halloween (10/31). I had gotten tickets for me, Laura and Grame to see the musical, Mary Poppins.Laura thoroughly enjoyed it. It was fun to watch her expressions during the show. At times you'd see her little hands go up in the air when Mary was singing in a higher octave and when the orchestra played, it was like she was the conductor. Too funny!

After the musical, we had to hurry home to get dressed up for Trick-Or-Treating. Laura ended up being a Hollywood Starlet. This was the first time we've ever let Laura wear "dress-up" make-up. I have to say, she looked so pretty. Looking at her all glammed up, made me think about 10 years from now, when she's getting ready for her prom. Oh, time is just flying by so quickly. Lilly also got dolled up for the festivities. She went as a Princess Pup. Too cute!! By the time we got both Laura and Lilly home, they were pooped from the day.





Sunday, Mom and Dad had to head back to North Carolina. That day always seems to be a hard day for everyone. We all get a little sad that we wont be seeing each other for a few months. So, I had planned earlier in the week for Laura and Wyatt to get together and go to the park for the afternoon. I think that seemed to help a little bit, but even when we left the park the tears came because Grame and Pops would not be there when she got home. Now that she's older, it seems to affect her more.

Now, fast forward to the next weekend (11/6). For Tim's Birthday (in September), I surprised him by flying his best friend from childhood, Chad along with his wife, Joanna down for a weekend in November. This would be that weekend. They got in around 6:30, just in time for dinner. We all went to Pappadeaux's and it was wonderful. This was one of the first restaurants I visited after moving to TX and have loved it ever since. After dinner we headed back to the house to get ready for an adult night out. Laura was having a sleepover with MawMaw and PawPaw. We ended up taking Chad and Joanna to see a local band that Tim and I really like, Lounge 4407. We had such a great time. The band was, as always, fabulous! Tim really enjoyed catching up with Chad and it was so nice to hang out with his wife. They were both so nice and great to hang out with.

Now after a month of being busy and on the go and what seemed to be nonstop, we finally had a calm, relaxing weekend. This past one was one of the first in quite some time that we didn't have anything planned. I got so much done around my house. Don't get me wrong, I still have a ton to do (my piles never seem to go away). But, we had a great time. Last night we ended up having movie night so Tim and Laura made homemade pizza's. Earlier in the day, Laura asked if she could open up a concession stand and sell popcorn and candy at the movie. So, she and I had gotten some things for her to "sell" at her concession stand. She had such a great time doing that. She charged me a little more than I would have liked to have paid for a candy bar, but to her it was so much fun.

Ah, I think I've rambled on long enough. Hope everyone is doing well. Just think, in a few more days it will be Turkey Day. YUM YUM!!